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Friday, September 4, 2009

Down Hearted

My students are going to sit the PSR xm soon, which will be start on d 5th Oct. n d school holidays are just around d corner. 1 week after school reopen , they will sit d xm...

Being a Yr 6 teacher is.. its not 'is', its 'are' very challenging, apatah lagi dis year.. I have 24 pupils with 9 girls 15 boys with only 1 class. In academic matter, d girls can be consider as ok. their abilities is between High - Average Ability. InsyaAllah, ada harapan pass PSR, my only problems are d boys. Out of 15 only 5 yg usul2nya dapat survive., 4 boys under SENA n d rest are low ability. We are focussing on their Maths. I am very depressed masani.

This yr, TF (Teaching Forum) kami focus at Maths subject coz when looking back at previous PSR, markah maths atu yg menyebabkan turun %. Kemarin was d last TF, an overview on d previous xm results, i.e 1st assessment, mid year xm n mock xm. Our school's % decreased from mid yr to mock xm. During mid yr % nya was 54. xx% but tym mock xm it was 45.xx%.

I cried when i noe drg punya result tu. few days after I mark paper drg, i keep on crying.. thinking target taun ni mesti 70+% sedangkn drg kn sampai 60% pun pyh.. Darl tah yg paksa memujuk. Kdg ia bagi advise. 'jgnth byk pikir, u sudah cuba sedaya upaya u, atu trpulang lah rah murid u lagi. Masa me dulu, lagi tia teruk, cgu me bagi paper sj dah tu keluar tia ya. mana ya ngajar kami, tpi byk jua yg dpt A'. bnr plg ckpnya tpi dlm hati ku ckp ' kamu pandai2, memanglh nda pyh kana ajar bnr2' tpi dlm hati plg saja tu...

I noe plg its not 100% salah drg. d teacher also memainkn peranan n I admit im not so well in teaching maths apath lagi dealing with d average yg kn ampir2 low ability tu. Im not complaining just meluahkan rasa coz I cant keep it any more.

Back to d TF kemarin. D powerpoint to showing all the 13 schools punya pencapaian frm 1st assessment until mock xm. so yeah..adalah yg menaik, ada yg stay n ada yg turun. muka ni panas rasanya n somehow airmata ku dibibir mata sudah but ku tahan2. aku lagi duduk dapan. gila mun nampak ku menangis.. cg azrina lgi ckp, ' jgn rasa down hearted cgu2 ah'.. Oh no, aku mana buleh tu urg cko cematu tu. anything yg mcm bersimpati bunyinya tu mudah tah air mata ku kn mengalir tu.. kn sibuk2kn diriku melukis2 lah supaya nda ketara.

Den cg Jaafar beri last minit strategi lah sebagai last ikhtiar. Bagi those mechanical topics yg sanang2 atu n h/w drg during cuti ni jdikan revision n discuss tym buka sekulah. D TF stops at 2.15 x so balik.. apa lagi.. dlm keta tarus pakai spec, nda dpt tahan2 lagi mcm ujan turun tia air mataku.. otw tu nda mau beranti air mata ah sampai balik rumah. Kepala ku stat sudah kanyat2 sakit. den tarus masuk bilik. darl balik sudah tu. dibilik nangis ku lagi. darl tnya kenapa, so aku gtau lah... den as usual, he comfort me but still nda mau beranti air mata ani. gagah ya. Darl jdikn paibunan nya lah aku menangis tu, so ketawalah ku. sapa jua kn tahan. Few mins ku melayan tangis ku, kepala kuat berdenyut. So i took a deep breath den mandi.. fresh jua lah ckit.

Kebilik mama ku, ambil koyu, tampal kiri kanan kepala n belakang. turun ku kebwh, mengulung popia ku sampai 5lalu den siap2 brg penyungkaian... itu ini, baduk.... afta baduk naik atas rehat2 den tertdur ku dlm 7lalu smpai sahur tdi. Baik tarus kepala ku..

Overall, I hope n berdoa agar murid-murid ku atu pass PSR ani eventh dpt D asal pass. balik2 dh ku pasan2 rah drg. maunya ku menangis x dpn2 drg so tau drg apa rasa ku if drg fail atu ah...


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